I've played the role of under-achieving victim for many years. I thought that if I were small enough, people would not only love me but also care for me. Just as long as I didn't get too big to out-shine anybody--in any way. Ever. Be quiet, keep still, don't ask for anything, go about your business, don't wake anybody up and surely don't show anybody up.
To quote Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck, "Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you can do, Loretta."
I think playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing anybody can do. Risque rien, n'a rien. That's french for if you don't do shit you ain't gonna have shit. (I took that directly from google.translate's French to Texan tab).
A lifetime of playing dumb and safe has left me unarmed for battle. I can tell you that I believe the time of playing dumb and safe has come to an end.
The conundrum is that you cannot achieve anything until you think you can achieve something. You don't think you can achieve anything if you've never done it. This is the part where confidence would come in handy. I have very little confidence but I have bravada or like they say in Texas (and other places), balls. Let me just say it's nothing spiritual like Faith or Grace or anything. It's more base than that. I wish it were something holy. But I think the holy thing comes after you get going in a good direction.
So, balls are going to have to do. Hey man it's like the vegetable stew I made the other day. I just grabbed whatever I could from the garden and some chicken from the freezer and bam, chicken damn stew without a trip to the store. Homemade-from-scratch biscuits on top and everything. It wasn't Nigella Lawson but I used what I had. It was pretty good even if the green beans kinda went to seed a little.
I guess I'm the green beans in this equation.