Tuesday, June 5, 2012

So the summer scheduling process rages on. There is so much pressure to give kids all of the life tools that we took so for granted when we were little.  If you were to read the news regularly as a parent of preschoolers, this is what it ALL sounds like: Bullies force kids into suicide.  Bullied kids go on shooting rampages.  Cyber bullies broadcast-text nude photos taken of 7 yr old in a bathroom, etc. etc.

What the hell happened to us? I know I sound like an old fogey when I start saying things of this nature.  But I have a different memory of how these things were handled 40 years ago.  But then again, I have 3 older brothers and an older sister who would've pummeled into mincemeat anybody who stepped over the teasing line with me. They were free to tease me as much as they wanted, of course. But nobody else could get within 20 fee--or else.  

So not only do we parents of preschoolers have to protect ourselves from the helicopter tiger moms, but we now have to protect our kids from their progeny.  Some of these kids are sweet as pie. Some roam free to harangue the mere mortals among them.  Good times.

So what do we do?  Well I've decided to schedule the kids some karate in with the rest of the insanity. Apparently karate is like kryptonite to the super bully.  Just the look of a kid that does karate says something akin to "I will mow you down with my awesome super powers if you come near me" according to all of the literature hawked by these studios.

I wonder, is there any hard science behind these assertions? And if so, who the hell is going to sit and research it on the off chance that you will miss those 15 minutes to teach your kid how to shoot lasers out of his eye sockets at some dysfunctional punk whose only mission it is to end them?  Well, I'm just going to sign up, start paying, start driving, start over-scheduling and maybe even take a few karate lessons myself.

Ah grasshopper...

5 weeks today.

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