Thursday, May 17, 2012

I did not relapse yesterday. But a new day always presents a new challenge, doesn't it?!

So this time of year another of my many obsessive tendencies begins to emerge and shall we say bloom.   It’s just starting now and I haven’t quite hit bottom---yet.

Hi My Name is Molly M. and I have 65 container gardens.  Hi Molly, welcome.

Uh, I mean where do you go with something like this? I have the oddest two obsessions on the damn planet.  Could I get any more bizarre?   These are at least vaguely comedic. The other ones are just sad---like scratching holes in my neck and scalp—and obsessively trying to outwit God by taking alternate routes places.  As if God doesn’t know what I’m thinking…duh!   I keep hearing laughter upon arriving places—it’s coming from the clouds. I’m pretty sure it’s Him.

This latest oddity really came back into full expression 2 weeks ago.  Tragically, Jeff was involved in a collision in which he was essentially an innocent bystander.  The driver of one car passed out and blew the light at Maple and Dexter and t-boned a gentleman heading home from dinner with his wife. They had driven separately.  He died instantly.
Both of those vehicles spun around and slammed into Jeff—just sitting there at the light waiting his turn.

He was so cold when I arrived with a black sweatshirt in my hand. I don’t know who put that sweatshirt in MY hands.  It was only 43* and he was forced to stand out there for at least 2 hours waiting.   They had not even extracted the poor man from the wreckage until well after everyone was gone.  The pall that fell over our lives that night lingers on.

The randomness of something like that can shake a control freak such as myself right down to the core.  It was the impetus for getting a handle on my OCD. I want to enjoy what might be left of my life.   I also wanted to hand control over to my higher power since I wasn’t doing such a bang up job of managing the randomness.

The next morning I dropped the kids off at school and went to look at pretty flowers. Each time I would pass by a different flat I thought, ‘gee wouldn’t that look nice in a pot on the deck?’ And that one, and that one, and that one…’ $300 later I have 5 new container gardens and a serious replacement addiction. Or at least a colorful one.  I’ll include a photo from some of mine from last year.  You really can’t get them all in one photo.  I managed to nip that obsession in the bud, pardon the pun. I’ve only taken 44 pots out of storage this year.  So that is roughly a 25% reduction in my overall crazy factor.

Today I’m going to take my 2 cats and dog to the groomer to have them bathed and clipped so we can stop eating their hair.  It’s just grossly floating everywhere and they don’t like it when I actually vacuum them. Go figure. 

Yesterday, I went to St. Vincent De Paul to drop off all that stuff that used to be in my horse trailer.  There, on a sandwich board out front of the t-shirt shop across the alley was a sign:   


I actually considered it.  Obviously,  I still have a long way to go. 

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