Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Tuesday 5/8/12. This makes a complete week, I think. Who knows? Calendars, clocks and scales are like frying pans on opposing sides of my head that father time is just bashing up against my ears.  Like one of those cute little monkey toys that play the cymbals.  Smash, smash, smash...rush, rush, rush.  I don't even do that much stuff that requires that I be somewhere at a particular time.   By design. Because rushing around causes so much anxiety in me that I shut down like a Derby horse getting a mud bath. 

When I got to college, I would study for exams weeks in advance.  I was so afraid of my own adrenalin and not being prepared, that I would study the syllabus daily.  I studied the behavior and speech patterns of the professors and found key words that they would say. I would count them with little hash marks at the top of my notes page.  You can always tell what they will test you on based on how often they say certain key words. Their little poker 'tells.'  But I was focused on their behavior and not the subject matter.  A little off, I'd say.  Little too Sherlocky. 

I also found out in college that other people don't study way in advance.  Hmm. What a concept. Some people do just fine playing basketball with their friends, planning to go out on a Saturday night, working a few hours here and there,  and then studying the night before a test.  The thought gives me hives to this day.

Funny enough, when REAL life hits you, there is a fair bit of both planning in advance and learning on the fly that is required.  Take, for instance, that scene in the movie Phenomenon when John Travolta had to learn Portuguese on the way to the hospital to find out why that little boy was so sick.  Had to be done.  On the flip side,  J.K. Rowling spent years journaling the back story on the entire Hogwarts gang. Ninety percent of which, in the end, didn't make it into the books and thus didn't amount to a hill of British beans. Until of course they sell all those cute little journals at Sotheby's.  I'm guessing that what is in them is just a bunch of doodles, shopping lists, cartoons of Baristas that pissed her off,  coffee rings,  alternative names for the Weasley offsprings, like Fenulla, Gertrude, Cuthberta, etc.

Planning way in advance gives you plenty of time to get yourself REALLY behind.  Getting really behind give you plenty of excuses to freak out.  Freaking out gives you plenty of reasons to either 1) spaz around like you and everyone around you is on fire or 2) shut down.

Hello and welcome to my brain.

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